Impact vs Wing Zero
by Et-chan
Summary: Goemon summons Impact to help him fight Heero Yuy and Wing Zero. WARNING: This story contains randomness and material unsuitable for someone with no sense of humor.


Impact vs. Wing Zero  
  
The coffee and dumplings were good as usual in Omitsu's Coffee Shop. Ebisumaru stuffed his face until he was puking funny colors, Yae was applying makeup, and Sasuke drank green tea. Goemon just watched Omitsu serve the customers. He was making sure no one was hitting on his girlfriend. He watched angrily as an old man complimented Omitsu's hair. She was blushing too!   
Goemon stood up and stomped towards them. He tapped the old man's bony shoulder.  
"Hey! Just what do you think you're doing with my girlfriend?!" he yelled making everyone in the shop stop and stare at him. "Oh no, Goemon's making a scene again," thought Yae, Ebisumaru, and Sasuke.  
"What?" said the old man turning around. Suddenly, Goemon clonked the old man on the head with his pipe.  
"Ow! My noggin!" cried the old man. Omitsu looked embarrassed as everyone in the coffee shop was watching Goemon. She set down the tray of coffee and green tea.  
"Goemon! OUT! NOW!" she yelled at him. Goemon looked surprised and scratched his head, his cheeks were flushed red.  
"Ok, ok.....geez Omitsu. Come on guys, let's go," Goemon said to his friends. They didn't budge. Yae and Sasuke were staring at Goemon and Ebisumaru was still stuffing his face with dumplings.   
"Grrrr...," growled Goemon as the coffee shop was still silent."I said come on, let's go!" he screamed at them. Ebisumaru stopped eating. Yae and Sasuke slowly got up and began to leave. Ebisumaru got up holding five dumplings.  
"Can we take the dumplings too?" he asked Goemon. Goemon growled again and began to brandish his pipe. Ebisumaru dropped the dumplings and ran out.  
  
  
It was a clear sunny morning and lots of people were walking around outside. Goemon and his friends were walking on the long road near the huge guard door. A person in a bright pink kimono(who clearly stood out, because no one else wore those bright colors) bounced up to Goemon. Goemon knew who it was. A pickpocket of course! He hit the pickpocket over the head with the pipe. They got scared and ran away to steal someone else's money.  
Goemon, Ebisumaru, Yae, and Sasuke were casually just walking around looking for something to do. A crowd of 4 or 5 girls noticed them and shouted. Goemon turned to see who had shouted at him. "Uh oh, it's those dumb girls who got mad just because we defeated those Peach Mountain creeps," he thought. Ebisumaru and Sasuke already started to run away not wanting to cause trouble.   
"Hey it's Goemon and his gang! Get them!" shouted one girl who had started to run. The other girls shouted and ran too. Goemon just stood there. Yae noticed him so she grabbed his collar.  
"Come on!" she said as she dragged him with her.  
"You'll pay for ruining our dance lessons with Sir Dancin' and Kitty Lily!" another girl yelled.   
The girls chased Goemon and his friends all the way to Kai Highway. There everyone noticed a huge mobile suit just standing in one place. A skinny boy and another boy wearing all black were near it. The girls ran away terrified. Goemon, Ebisumaru, Yae, and Sasuke were staring at it in awe. Then Goemon frowned.  
"Hey, trespassers! What are you doing here with your big robot.....thingy!" Goemon yelled at them with flailing arms. The boy wearing all black smiled.  
"We just came here to rest. No problem in resting, right?" said the boy coolly.  
"Who are you guys anyway?" asked Sasuke curiously.  
"I'm Duo Maxwell. Oh, and that's Heero Yuy," said Duo pointing to the skinny boy. Just then, Ebisumaru came up with a great idea. He began to whisper in Goemon's ear.  
"Hey, you can challenge these guys with Impact. Impact's like a robot thingy right? This could be a good chance to redeem yourself with Omitsu and show off to those weird girls who keep chasing us," explained Ebisumaru. Goemon grinned.  
"How bout I battle against your robot?" challenged Goemon. Duo laughed.  
"Just you?" he asked bewildered," Anyway, Wing Zero ain't mine. It's Heero's."   
"Not me, damnit! Impact vs. err...Wing Zero!" said Goemon taking out a big shell.   
"Fine with me," said Heero. Yae held her head looking really frustrated.  
"Goemon...I don't think you should call Impact over some stupid battle," said Yae.  
"And why not?" asked Goemon getting bad-tempered.   
"Because I fear there will only be Impact's legs left when the battles over," replied Yae.  
"Oh, come on Yae. You've got no hope. Me and Sasuke are off to get everyone in Oedo to watch this fight," said Ebisumaru. Then he and Sasuke left Kai Highway to go tell everyone.   
  
Oedo Town was pretty much deserted by now. Everyone was at Kai Highway to watch Impact vs. Wing Zero. Ebisumaru made a 15 ryo fine for everyone who wanted to watch. He counted his money greedily when everyone was seated in rows to watch. "So much dumplings!" he thought and licked his lips.  
Goemon stood by Yae at a hill top to see if everyone was there. He grinned as he saw the Lord and Princess Yuki arrive with lots of guards.  
"Oh, this should be very exciting. Our hero, Goemon, fighting against some lowly trespasser. Very exciting," said the Lord fanning himself. Princess Yuki looked at her father who looked like he was going to die of boredom.  
"Well, you don't seem very excited," said Yuki. Her father didn't answer because he had already fell asleep.   
The Plasma Man was the last person to arrive. He walked right passed Ebisumaru who was waiting for the ryo.  
"Hey! Don't think this is free!" he yelled at the Plasma Man. The Plasma Man turned.  
"Ok, ok! How about a free fortune telling after the show?" bargained the Plasma Man who was broke and didn't have any money. Ebisumaru shrugged and let him sit next to the sleeping Lord.  
"Is everyone down there!" Goemon screamed. Sasuke nodded at Yae who said:"Well duh, Goemon. Even the monsters stopped to watch." Goemon ignored that and blew into the shell. Music began to play, and oh even singing!  
DASH! DASH! DASH!  
Oe taieo! Zeni to teke! Hukoso, mashiru, ma in dae ao.........  
  
And then, Impact appeared. Fully armed and as lanky as ever! People gasped at this huge robot. Goemon teleported up to Impact. While Heero jumped into Wing Zero's cockpit.   
Back at the hill top, Duo and Yae were making a bet.  
"100 ryo says Impact whips Wing Zero's ass," Duo challenged. Yae smiled and shook his hand.  
"Deal!"  
The fighting began to start and the Lord woke up! Impact took the first move and tried to reel Wing Zero towards him with his chain pipe. Wing Zero broke free and took out his saber. He dove at Impact who did a stunning leap frog to dodge. Then Impact began to shoot ryo at Wing Zero. It just bounced off his shield.   
Heero had obviously had enough of this pathetic play. He took out the rifle instead. He charged up and fired a blast of a colorful laser. At the same time, Goemon fired out the Impact Beam. A blue beam of light that did tremendous damage. The beams collided in the air and made a huge explosion. Everyone covered their eyes.   
Wing Zero took advantage of this moment and lunged his saber at Impact.  
"Damn! I can't see!" cried Goemon shielding his eyes from the light of the collision. When Goemon could finally see, the saber burst into Impact. Goemon began to panic as the cockpit began to smoke and malfunction. Wires stuck out and some of the electricity shocked him.   
Ebisumaru also began to panic. He sat next to Omitsu who kept asking him if Goemon was going to be alright. He didn't know what to say. The Plasma Man saw all of this.  
"Hey, Ebisu! Wanna use your free fortune telling now?" he asked through all of the confusion. Ebisumaru nodded.  
"Plasma....mmm.....plasma....mmm," said the Plasma man. Then finally he answered.  
"Water is the key, if you know what I mean," he said. Ebisumaru looked around for some water. He noticed Sasuke looking calm and drinking green tea. "That will have to do, if I wanna save Goemon," Ebisumaru thought. He grabbed away Sasuke's mug of green tea and ran to Wing Zero. He threw it at Wing Zero's foot, it smashed and the green tea sneaked into Wing Zero.  
"Huh?" said Heero who heard a noise. The tea made Wing Zero's foot smoke and malfunction. Heero couldn't move it.   
"DO IT NOW, GOEMON! DO IT NOW!" Ebisumaru shouted frantically at Impact. Goemon came to his senses and saw what was happening to Wing Zero. He charged up the Impact beam and fired! It hit Wing Zero in the chest sending him into a pool of water. Heero retreated out and watched a big explosion occur in the water. He frowned while Goemon victoriously got out of Impact. He jumped down and ran to everyone.  
"I did it!" he said as he embraced with Omitsu.  
"Goemon, I'm so happy you're ok!" she said with tears in her eyes. Yae swore loudly and gave the grinning Duo 100 ryo. Ebisumaru hugged the Plasma Man who was trying to get away.   
"Well, I wouldn't of done it without Impact," said Goemon looking at Impact. Impact fell to the ground, smoke and electricity surging through him. Everyone laughed and still celebrated. 


End file.
